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yui_miyamotofandom: Initial D
title: Invincible.
pairing: Ryousuke + Takumi
rating: pg-13 (we hope for now)
description: Ryousuke suddenly appears at Takumi ‘s house to ask him a favor, but is there something underlying his request? (Note: Shounen-ai)
Disclaimer – Initial D doesn’t belong to me, but yes, the ‘song’ by ‘Secret’ in the middle is mine. I had a lot of fun writing it.
Invincible.
By Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 9 – Asymmetrical.
“If you only knew,” someone whispered to my left ear.
I immediately opened my eyes to the blinding light coming through my window, and of course, there was no one there. I sat up, holding my head, confused between the dream world and reality.
Even though I’d slept late into the morning and I knew I’d passed out earlier, everything passed by in a fast cloud. I don’t know what kind of excuse I gave Kenta, but I remembered one thing from Keisuke’s fatal glare:
“Mark my word, if you hurt my brother, I will come after you.”
Being a little envious, I wondered if that’s how all siblings felt about one another? Did they all protect one another like that?
Then again, I was the one who cried when I damaged the ’86 both times. There was no doubt in my mind that he’d protected me each time.
What more for blood relatives?
Instead of holding my head, I now slowly patted my jaw, twitching while touching the bubble of swollen skin. I could only imagine what it looked like because I didn’t bother to see it last night.
How was I supposed to explain this when Dad asks? I can’t exactly say Keisuke hit me because I was a jerk to Ryousuke. And why was that? Because he had a video of you and mom.
I buried my face in my hands. “Ow!”
That wasn’t such a good idea so I stood up and briefly paced among the maze of boxes.
Actually, my shoulders felt like bricks were balancing on them and my back, crushed with pliers. The fact that my mind was entirely foggy by the end of this week was of no surprise to me.
I got ready and briefly saw the swollen part of my face in the bathroom mirror. Shrugging my shoulders, I knew there was nothing I could really do about it. I hated to admit that I kind of deserved it.
When I went downstairs, I smelled the smoke from his cigarette. I found him reading the newspaper in the living room. Without missing a beat and not putting his paper down, he said, “You were supposed to do this morning’s delivery.”
I stood in the threshold with the title “Sports” on top and a heading that said, “Rookie offered contract for international team!”
“I know. I’m really sorry, Dad.” I waited for my punishment. There were no excuses accepted when it came to business.
“You’ve been stressed over moving so I’ll let it go.” He put down the newspaper and stared straight at me. “But why do you have a bruise on your face?”
“I got into a fight with Keisuke.”
“Ah.” He took a drag of his cigarette.
It wasn’t the first time we’d disagreed on something, but it’d never escalated to that level either.
He didn’t ask anything further about it. Putting the newspaper between us once more, I took a step into the kitchen to get some breakfast. When I came back with some mackerel and miso he’d put on a tray for me, I said grace and ate.
“By the way, Takumi, I had someone look over the ‘86.” There was a crinkling noise in between my groggy brain and his silence.
When it sank in with a delay, I stopped eating.
“What? Why?” I put my chopsticks down. “I said I was saving up to fix it. Even if I had to do it myself.”
I wanted to do it with my own hands so that I’d learn. For all these years, even if we never battled again, the ‘86 kept me company through the best and worst times of my life.
“I know, but I found someone who said there may be a way. If they can’t, then there is no point in hoping for it to be repaired.”
“But I wanted to do it piece by piece, no matter how long it took.” I looked straight into the newspaper once more. “Even then, would it have been so bad for it to be parked there?”
At least until I left?
He put the paper down and folded it. Then, he smeared his cigarette into the ashtray on the ground next to him.
“I'd never give that car away.” He got up.
Why’d you do it then?
Walking away from me, he explained, “Your mother bought it when she retired from the pros.”
My mother was a pro racer? Wasn’t it you?
He’d never really told me anything that happened before I was born. In fact, our first talk about the past was after Natsuki came over for Christmas and he told me stories of girls he’d met in his life.
Weirdly, this talk didn’t end with how he’d met my mother. He skipped all of what was in between and ended,
“She said she was coming back to Gunma, showed up in front of this house with a single suitcase, and that was that.”
When he went over to the front and began his daily routine, I saw him smirking to himself.
*/*/*/*/*/00000
By early evening, I’d just sent my first set of boxes through a delivery service. Since my dad had some contacts at the place I was heading to, there was an apartment arranged for me. They also said they’d just store all my boxes in the apartment until I came. I was glad that almost all of the ‘moving’ part was finished.
Now, there was this whole other thing that had to be resolved.
I tried not to let my thoughts wander towards that direction as I waited for Itsuki to pick me from the front of my house. He was already a few minutes late so I read my phone messages.
Message (121/121)
Name: Wataru
Subject: Sadamine Pass
Attachment: None
See you at tonight’s battle.
It’d be good to talk to you before you go West.
=+=+=+=+=+
Message (120/121)
Name: Mika
Subject: Hi!
Attachment: None
Hi Takumi!
I arrived safely in Portland. The airport’s very wide and the structure’s interesting. It’s pretty and green over here. I like it already!
Dad and I are going downtown to check out the transit system after practice. We’re going to try to fit some sightseeing in between, but let’s see how it goes. It’s a pretty hard schedule, but it’s rare to go overseas, so I’m going to do my best!
We're going to begin the tournament tomorrow.
I wish I could hear your voice right now…
I hope you’re doing okay with everything.
-Mika
I read her message over and over. I knew I had to reply so that she’d feel more at ease, except I didn’t really know what to say about the upcoming battle, my jaw, or this week’s arising issues.
Name: Taku
Subject: Re: Hi!
Attachment: None
Hey Mika,
I’m really glad you’re okay and that there were no problems getting there.
I just finished packing all my packages so I’m almost done with everything. I think I can take it slower before I leave.
Have fun with everything over there and please send me some pictures. I’ve never been abroad before, so I wonder what it looks like, especially America.
I think I’ve always just thought about life here in Japan so for you to go to the tournament is pretty amazing. They invited you to come, so just play like you always do when we go to the ranges together.
I’m sure you’ll do really well. You always do.
Take care.
-Takumi
I pressed ‘sent’ just as Itsuki was about to stop.
Saying goodbye to my dad, I got in and we headed towards Higashi-Chichibu.
As expected, his jaw dropped when he noticed my face. “Hey Taku-Whoa, that wasn’t there when I last saw you.”
“Hi to you too, Itsuki.”
I almost laughed, despite all that was going on.
Itsuki drove and turned on the radio. There happened to be a duet, the two-girl group called “Secret”. He made the volume louder so that he could sing along with them. I realized it was the same group my dad sometimes watched on our tv.
I was thankful for the breathing space.
“I can’t give you all of my thoughts,
I won’t surrender all of my will power,
I mustn’t hand over my heart so easily,
If my words seem misleading, then
I shouldn’t say them, right?
It all started with a look
From one mirror to another,
You were behind me,
But I turned away, thinking
‘It was just a joke.
I don’t have that
kind of free time.’
You keep on getting closer,
(I want to run away)
Saying things without words
(I’m not so honest)
Your smile is enough,
(I’ll be caught soon)
The rest of you is a puzzle.
(But I want you anyway.)
I can’t give you all of my thoughts,
I won’t surrender all of my will power,
I mustn’t hand over my heart so easily,
If my words seem misleading, then
I shouldn’t say them, right?
Will there be a time where
I’m able to just be myself?
Forgetting all the
walls I’ve made between us two?
‘Won’t you let me in?
I’ve tried and tried
but this gap remains.’
I keep on going further,
(You want to embrace me)
Crowding words between us
(You’re full of patience)
My eyes tell you nothing.
(When will you give up?)
I’m the marble you’re gazing through.
(So you already have me.)
I can’t give you all of my thoughts,
I won’t surrender all of my will power,
I mustn’t hand over my heart so easily,
If my words seem misleading, then
I shouldn’t say them, right?”
*/*/*/*/*/00000
While talking with Itsuki and parking, I found out this was the race that Kenta was going to be in. But I didn’t recognize the person he was going up against. I think she was a completely new challenger. Apparently, a newcomer had come into Wataru’s team recently.
I searched around the crowd, almost expecting the black FD to be there, but it never showed up.
Keisuke had given her up to go all out.
I was the one who’d gotten a girlfriend. There were times I really questioned if I was that serious. By now, was I really as committed as I should have been?
“Haven’t seen you guys in a while.” I greeted in relief. “It’s good to see you.”
I was saved that wherever we were standing, it was dark enough that they didn’t notice my face. We stood to one side, across a shrine against the cliff. The guardrails on the right revealed no idea of what was below during the day. Other people were dispersed around the path, but I was the one who mentioned about this spot. For some reason, I had a feeling this was where we should have been.
“Life is going fast for you, that’s why,” Iketani said as he patted my shoulder.
“Yeah, it’s still unbelievable that it all started by accident not too long ago.” Kenji watched as several cars passed us to park a small distance away from us.
“This was your fault,” I joked as I heard more cars roar behind me.
“It turned out well though,” Iketani replied with a smile. “Now, you’re going against the world stage.”
I want to believe I’m ready, but how far is the gap going to be? Will I be able to keep racing the way I want to?
Isn’t that why Ryousuke didn’t want to be a professional? Why he and Sudo-san still fought over their driving theories?
Will he and I ever get to the point where our thoughts crossover?
When will I ever surpass his theories and create my own? As I am now, I’m just applying what he’s instilled in me.
Deep down, I know that when we’re put side by side,
your passion and my talent for racing are asymmetrical.
In a flash, the three huddled around me whispering, “So have you decided?”
I blankly looked at them from left to right. “About what?”
Iketani put his hand up to cover half of his mouth and whispered loud enough for all of us to hear, “About Mika-san and Takahashi Ryousuke!”
“You know?” Even though they couldn’t see, on point, my face delivered its predictable blushing. “Itsuki!”
“I was worried because you looked depressed.” He grabbed the sleeves of my shirt. “I don’t want you to leave us feeling like that!”
I really can’t think of anything special that I did for you to be this good to me…
I was starting to feel calm again. When he let go of my sleeves, he said, “That and everything’s always been a group decision, you know!”
I hung my head in defeat.
“Lonely drivers should unite as one.” As I was lifting my head to face them again, Kenji put his arm over Itsuki’s shoulders. “Mr. Downhill Specialist will never know our dilemma. The other one let go of a hottie.”
“Erk.” Iketani cleared his throat. It was clear that the Mako subject still brushed against his lingering regret. “It doesn’t make me feel better that she’s one of the top three on the circuits right now. Her face appears daily on almost all of the racing sites.”
“How can you say that?” I put my hand on the back of my head in embarrassment. “You think I don’t know how you feel?”
In unison, they all answered back without a second thought, “Nope.”
“…” I couldn’t argue against all of them and I put my hand down.
“Seriously, Mika-san is a really great girl.”
“I know she is, Iketani-sempai.” I looked at him straight in the eye.
“And she’s talented too, so she gets you. You won’t find another one like her.” Kenji took his hand off Itsuki’s shoulder.
I nodded my head in agreement.
“But Takahashi Ryousuke has always been watching over Takumi!” Itsuki pointed out.
“Wouldn’t any team leader do that?” Kenji replied as he shrugged his shoulders. “From the Project D website, you can tell that guy’s totally obsessed with results.”
Iketani still looked on with conviction. “And the more Takumi became our pride because of it.”
“Yeah…” they all said in sync.
“But Itsuki, why are you so sure about Takahashi Ryousuke?” Iketani turned his head towards Itsuki. “Wouldn’t it just be that he found someone who’s a genius like him?”
“Somebody that focused in everything he’s responsible for…” Itsuki shook his head fervently. “Someone like that wouldn’t pursue Takumi half-heartedly.”
He looks absolutely certain about Ryousuke.
“Wouldn’t that describe Mika-san too?” Kenji ran his fingers through his hair. “She’s a pro. I mean, for goodness sake, she’s the Japanese golf rep in the US right now!”
“No. Takumi always pushes that what he does is ordinary, but…” Itsuki’s hands made fists and his voice finally shouted, “the first person to acknowledge and not underestimate him besides me IS HIM!”
He was breathing hard.
You’re right…
I stood there in awe. But my hand reached out to ruffle his hair.
From the very beginning, I owe you a lot, Itsuki. I understand that now.
He put his fists over his hips and smiled proudly.
“If Mika and Ryousuke-san didn’t completely love what they did, I’d be a lost cause right now.” I took my hand away from Itsuki’s hair.
Itsuki nodded his head as Iketani and Kenji both answered, “Yeah, ain’t that the truth.”
“Hey!” I protested.
Thank you…
For admiring my talent, and not ever treating me badly for it.
“Aren’t you going to tell me I shouldn’t think of those things at all?”
Itsuki asked, “What do you mean?”
“I’m with Mika and we’re equal. I don’t feel deficient, stupid, or confused ever since we’ve been together. I’ve never had to second-guess what I’m doing.” I took a deep breath. “There shouldn’t even be this talk about Ryousuke-san.”
“Mika-san and you don’t smother one another. That’s why I like her. She can handle herself when the time comes.” Kenji began to chuckle a little. “I mean, she really gave a good slap when you first met. It was pretty impressive.”
“Then, why is it okay to have this kind of conversation with him involved?”
“Takahashi Ryousuke doesn’t see the world as we see it. I don’t think he sees himself as we see him.” Iketani looked away from us, and turned around to hold the guardrails, watching beyond the cliff and trees, looking deep in thought. “That’s how I’ve always felt, ever since I saw him race as the White Comet.”
I could never put it into words, but that was exactly how I felt, discovering it this week.
“They see you as you are.” Itsuki patted my shoulders. Then, he squeezed them as he gave me a thoughtful look. “That’s why we’re fine with either one you choose.”
With many thoughts bombarding my mind, I remained silent. I could only look at Itsuki with a worried expression.
Just which side of myself will I preserve? Which one will I give away?
If I look further, I can see a glimpse of my future with each of them.
On the surface, why do Mika and Ryousuke appear to be the same? Yet, the small voice keeps saying:
“They are, in fact, unequal. You have to keep reaching towards the impossible,
risking everything in between, even losing them and breaking yourself in the process in order to find what you’ve always wanted.
Only few can enter here because most can’t take the impact.
That’s the true facet of a ‘dream’.”
The dull ache in my jaw continued to remind me of Keisuke’s pure resolve.
Because of it, I become gradually conscious
that I love them more than I let on,
and of the fear that finally swallows me whole with it.
Tsuzuku…/To be continued…
--
Author’s note: One of my favorite courses was Tsuchisaka so I was glad they brought it back in Infinity. However, since that’s the Evo group, and I miss Kyouko and Wataru, I decided to just relocate it there.
Plus, I love music, so it’s got to show up somewhere. (Anyone who’s read my Gravi fics knows it…)
To tell the truth, the story is unraveling for me too. I had an outline but since I got really engrossed within the fic, it’s turning out far from what I’d planned. I am glad though because I’m enjoying the challenge.
So far though, this was an extremely difficult chapter to write. It really ransacked through my heart.
I just hope you’re enjoying it with me.
Until next read, take care!
Love,
Yui
7/2/2016 2:33 AM – Los Angeles
7/2/2016 6:33 PM - Tokyo
title: Invincible.
pairing: Ryousuke + Takumi
rating: pg-13 (we hope for now)
description: Ryousuke suddenly appears at Takumi ‘s house to ask him a favor, but is there something underlying his request? (Note: Shounen-ai)
Disclaimer – Initial D doesn’t belong to me, but yes, the ‘song’ by ‘Secret’ in the middle is mine. I had a lot of fun writing it.
Invincible.
By Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 9 – Asymmetrical.
“If you only knew,” someone whispered to my left ear.
I immediately opened my eyes to the blinding light coming through my window, and of course, there was no one there. I sat up, holding my head, confused between the dream world and reality.
Even though I’d slept late into the morning and I knew I’d passed out earlier, everything passed by in a fast cloud. I don’t know what kind of excuse I gave Kenta, but I remembered one thing from Keisuke’s fatal glare:
“Mark my word, if you hurt my brother, I will come after you.”
Being a little envious, I wondered if that’s how all siblings felt about one another? Did they all protect one another like that?
Then again, I was the one who cried when I damaged the ’86 both times. There was no doubt in my mind that he’d protected me each time.
What more for blood relatives?
Instead of holding my head, I now slowly patted my jaw, twitching while touching the bubble of swollen skin. I could only imagine what it looked like because I didn’t bother to see it last night.
How was I supposed to explain this when Dad asks? I can’t exactly say Keisuke hit me because I was a jerk to Ryousuke. And why was that? Because he had a video of you and mom.
I buried my face in my hands. “Ow!”
That wasn’t such a good idea so I stood up and briefly paced among the maze of boxes.
Actually, my shoulders felt like bricks were balancing on them and my back, crushed with pliers. The fact that my mind was entirely foggy by the end of this week was of no surprise to me.
I got ready and briefly saw the swollen part of my face in the bathroom mirror. Shrugging my shoulders, I knew there was nothing I could really do about it. I hated to admit that I kind of deserved it.
When I went downstairs, I smelled the smoke from his cigarette. I found him reading the newspaper in the living room. Without missing a beat and not putting his paper down, he said, “You were supposed to do this morning’s delivery.”
I stood in the threshold with the title “Sports” on top and a heading that said, “Rookie offered contract for international team!”
“I know. I’m really sorry, Dad.” I waited for my punishment. There were no excuses accepted when it came to business.
“You’ve been stressed over moving so I’ll let it go.” He put down the newspaper and stared straight at me. “But why do you have a bruise on your face?”
“I got into a fight with Keisuke.”
“Ah.” He took a drag of his cigarette.
It wasn’t the first time we’d disagreed on something, but it’d never escalated to that level either.
He didn’t ask anything further about it. Putting the newspaper between us once more, I took a step into the kitchen to get some breakfast. When I came back with some mackerel and miso he’d put on a tray for me, I said grace and ate.
“By the way, Takumi, I had someone look over the ‘86.” There was a crinkling noise in between my groggy brain and his silence.
When it sank in with a delay, I stopped eating.
“What? Why?” I put my chopsticks down. “I said I was saving up to fix it. Even if I had to do it myself.”
I wanted to do it with my own hands so that I’d learn. For all these years, even if we never battled again, the ‘86 kept me company through the best and worst times of my life.
“I know, but I found someone who said there may be a way. If they can’t, then there is no point in hoping for it to be repaired.”
“But I wanted to do it piece by piece, no matter how long it took.” I looked straight into the newspaper once more. “Even then, would it have been so bad for it to be parked there?”
At least until I left?
He put the paper down and folded it. Then, he smeared his cigarette into the ashtray on the ground next to him.
“I'd never give that car away.” He got up.
Why’d you do it then?
Walking away from me, he explained, “Your mother bought it when she retired from the pros.”
My mother was a pro racer? Wasn’t it you?
He’d never really told me anything that happened before I was born. In fact, our first talk about the past was after Natsuki came over for Christmas and he told me stories of girls he’d met in his life.
Weirdly, this talk didn’t end with how he’d met my mother. He skipped all of what was in between and ended,
“She said she was coming back to Gunma, showed up in front of this house with a single suitcase, and that was that.”
When he went over to the front and began his daily routine, I saw him smirking to himself.
*/*/*/*/*/00000
By early evening, I’d just sent my first set of boxes through a delivery service. Since my dad had some contacts at the place I was heading to, there was an apartment arranged for me. They also said they’d just store all my boxes in the apartment until I came. I was glad that almost all of the ‘moving’ part was finished.
Now, there was this whole other thing that had to be resolved.
I tried not to let my thoughts wander towards that direction as I waited for Itsuki to pick me from the front of my house. He was already a few minutes late so I read my phone messages.
Message (121/121)
Name: Wataru
Subject: Sadamine Pass
Attachment: None
See you at tonight’s battle.
It’d be good to talk to you before you go West.
=+=+=+=+=+
Message (120/121)
Name: Mika
Subject: Hi!
Attachment: None
Hi Takumi!
I arrived safely in Portland. The airport’s very wide and the structure’s interesting. It’s pretty and green over here. I like it already!
Dad and I are going downtown to check out the transit system after practice. We’re going to try to fit some sightseeing in between, but let’s see how it goes. It’s a pretty hard schedule, but it’s rare to go overseas, so I’m going to do my best!
We're going to begin the tournament tomorrow.
I wish I could hear your voice right now…
I hope you’re doing okay with everything.
-Mika
I read her message over and over. I knew I had to reply so that she’d feel more at ease, except I didn’t really know what to say about the upcoming battle, my jaw, or this week’s arising issues.
Name: Taku
Subject: Re: Hi!
Attachment: None
Hey Mika,
I’m really glad you’re okay and that there were no problems getting there.
I just finished packing all my packages so I’m almost done with everything. I think I can take it slower before I leave.
Have fun with everything over there and please send me some pictures. I’ve never been abroad before, so I wonder what it looks like, especially America.
I think I’ve always just thought about life here in Japan so for you to go to the tournament is pretty amazing. They invited you to come, so just play like you always do when we go to the ranges together.
I’m sure you’ll do really well. You always do.
Take care.
-Takumi
I pressed ‘sent’ just as Itsuki was about to stop.
Saying goodbye to my dad, I got in and we headed towards Higashi-Chichibu.
As expected, his jaw dropped when he noticed my face. “Hey Taku-Whoa, that wasn’t there when I last saw you.”
“Hi to you too, Itsuki.”
I almost laughed, despite all that was going on.
Itsuki drove and turned on the radio. There happened to be a duet, the two-girl group called “Secret”. He made the volume louder so that he could sing along with them. I realized it was the same group my dad sometimes watched on our tv.
I was thankful for the breathing space.
“I can’t give you all of my thoughts,
I won’t surrender all of my will power,
I mustn’t hand over my heart so easily,
If my words seem misleading, then
I shouldn’t say them, right?
It all started with a look
From one mirror to another,
You were behind me,
But I turned away, thinking
‘It was just a joke.
I don’t have that
kind of free time.’
You keep on getting closer,
(I want to run away)
Saying things without words
(I’m not so honest)
Your smile is enough,
(I’ll be caught soon)
The rest of you is a puzzle.
(But I want you anyway.)
I can’t give you all of my thoughts,
I won’t surrender all of my will power,
I mustn’t hand over my heart so easily,
If my words seem misleading, then
I shouldn’t say them, right?
Will there be a time where
I’m able to just be myself?
Forgetting all the
walls I’ve made between us two?
‘Won’t you let me in?
I’ve tried and tried
but this gap remains.’
I keep on going further,
(You want to embrace me)
Crowding words between us
(You’re full of patience)
My eyes tell you nothing.
(When will you give up?)
I’m the marble you’re gazing through.
(So you already have me.)
I can’t give you all of my thoughts,
I won’t surrender all of my will power,
I mustn’t hand over my heart so easily,
If my words seem misleading, then
I shouldn’t say them, right?”
*/*/*/*/*/00000
While talking with Itsuki and parking, I found out this was the race that Kenta was going to be in. But I didn’t recognize the person he was going up against. I think she was a completely new challenger. Apparently, a newcomer had come into Wataru’s team recently.
I searched around the crowd, almost expecting the black FD to be there, but it never showed up.
Keisuke had given her up to go all out.
I was the one who’d gotten a girlfriend. There were times I really questioned if I was that serious. By now, was I really as committed as I should have been?
“Haven’t seen you guys in a while.” I greeted in relief. “It’s good to see you.”
I was saved that wherever we were standing, it was dark enough that they didn’t notice my face. We stood to one side, across a shrine against the cliff. The guardrails on the right revealed no idea of what was below during the day. Other people were dispersed around the path, but I was the one who mentioned about this spot. For some reason, I had a feeling this was where we should have been.
“Life is going fast for you, that’s why,” Iketani said as he patted my shoulder.
“Yeah, it’s still unbelievable that it all started by accident not too long ago.” Kenji watched as several cars passed us to park a small distance away from us.
“This was your fault,” I joked as I heard more cars roar behind me.
“It turned out well though,” Iketani replied with a smile. “Now, you’re going against the world stage.”
I want to believe I’m ready, but how far is the gap going to be? Will I be able to keep racing the way I want to?
Isn’t that why Ryousuke didn’t want to be a professional? Why he and Sudo-san still fought over their driving theories?
Will he and I ever get to the point where our thoughts crossover?
When will I ever surpass his theories and create my own? As I am now, I’m just applying what he’s instilled in me.
Deep down, I know that when we’re put side by side,
your passion and my talent for racing are asymmetrical.
In a flash, the three huddled around me whispering, “So have you decided?”
I blankly looked at them from left to right. “About what?”
Iketani put his hand up to cover half of his mouth and whispered loud enough for all of us to hear, “About Mika-san and Takahashi Ryousuke!”
“You know?” Even though they couldn’t see, on point, my face delivered its predictable blushing. “Itsuki!”
“I was worried because you looked depressed.” He grabbed the sleeves of my shirt. “I don’t want you to leave us feeling like that!”
I really can’t think of anything special that I did for you to be this good to me…
I was starting to feel calm again. When he let go of my sleeves, he said, “That and everything’s always been a group decision, you know!”
I hung my head in defeat.
“Lonely drivers should unite as one.” As I was lifting my head to face them again, Kenji put his arm over Itsuki’s shoulders. “Mr. Downhill Specialist will never know our dilemma. The other one let go of a hottie.”
“Erk.” Iketani cleared his throat. It was clear that the Mako subject still brushed against his lingering regret. “It doesn’t make me feel better that she’s one of the top three on the circuits right now. Her face appears daily on almost all of the racing sites.”
“How can you say that?” I put my hand on the back of my head in embarrassment. “You think I don’t know how you feel?”
In unison, they all answered back without a second thought, “Nope.”
“…” I couldn’t argue against all of them and I put my hand down.
“Seriously, Mika-san is a really great girl.”
“I know she is, Iketani-sempai.” I looked at him straight in the eye.
“And she’s talented too, so she gets you. You won’t find another one like her.” Kenji took his hand off Itsuki’s shoulder.
I nodded my head in agreement.
“But Takahashi Ryousuke has always been watching over Takumi!” Itsuki pointed out.
“Wouldn’t any team leader do that?” Kenji replied as he shrugged his shoulders. “From the Project D website, you can tell that guy’s totally obsessed with results.”
Iketani still looked on with conviction. “And the more Takumi became our pride because of it.”
“Yeah…” they all said in sync.
“But Itsuki, why are you so sure about Takahashi Ryousuke?” Iketani turned his head towards Itsuki. “Wouldn’t it just be that he found someone who’s a genius like him?”
“Somebody that focused in everything he’s responsible for…” Itsuki shook his head fervently. “Someone like that wouldn’t pursue Takumi half-heartedly.”
He looks absolutely certain about Ryousuke.
“Wouldn’t that describe Mika-san too?” Kenji ran his fingers through his hair. “She’s a pro. I mean, for goodness sake, she’s the Japanese golf rep in the US right now!”
“No. Takumi always pushes that what he does is ordinary, but…” Itsuki’s hands made fists and his voice finally shouted, “the first person to acknowledge and not underestimate him besides me IS HIM!”
He was breathing hard.
You’re right…
I stood there in awe. But my hand reached out to ruffle his hair.
From the very beginning, I owe you a lot, Itsuki. I understand that now.
He put his fists over his hips and smiled proudly.
“If Mika and Ryousuke-san didn’t completely love what they did, I’d be a lost cause right now.” I took my hand away from Itsuki’s hair.
Itsuki nodded his head as Iketani and Kenji both answered, “Yeah, ain’t that the truth.”
“Hey!” I protested.
Thank you…
For admiring my talent, and not ever treating me badly for it.
“Aren’t you going to tell me I shouldn’t think of those things at all?”
Itsuki asked, “What do you mean?”
“I’m with Mika and we’re equal. I don’t feel deficient, stupid, or confused ever since we’ve been together. I’ve never had to second-guess what I’m doing.” I took a deep breath. “There shouldn’t even be this talk about Ryousuke-san.”
“Mika-san and you don’t smother one another. That’s why I like her. She can handle herself when the time comes.” Kenji began to chuckle a little. “I mean, she really gave a good slap when you first met. It was pretty impressive.”
“Then, why is it okay to have this kind of conversation with him involved?”
“Takahashi Ryousuke doesn’t see the world as we see it. I don’t think he sees himself as we see him.” Iketani looked away from us, and turned around to hold the guardrails, watching beyond the cliff and trees, looking deep in thought. “That’s how I’ve always felt, ever since I saw him race as the White Comet.”
I could never put it into words, but that was exactly how I felt, discovering it this week.
“They see you as you are.” Itsuki patted my shoulders. Then, he squeezed them as he gave me a thoughtful look. “That’s why we’re fine with either one you choose.”
With many thoughts bombarding my mind, I remained silent. I could only look at Itsuki with a worried expression.
Just which side of myself will I preserve? Which one will I give away?
If I look further, I can see a glimpse of my future with each of them.
On the surface, why do Mika and Ryousuke appear to be the same? Yet, the small voice keeps saying:
“They are, in fact, unequal. You have to keep reaching towards the impossible,
risking everything in between, even losing them and breaking yourself in the process in order to find what you’ve always wanted.
Only few can enter here because most can’t take the impact.
That’s the true facet of a ‘dream’.”
The dull ache in my jaw continued to remind me of Keisuke’s pure resolve.
Because of it, I become gradually conscious
that I love them more than I let on,
and of the fear that finally swallows me whole with it.
Tsuzuku…/To be continued…
--
Author’s note: One of my favorite courses was Tsuchisaka so I was glad they brought it back in Infinity. However, since that’s the Evo group, and I miss Kyouko and Wataru, I decided to just relocate it there.
Plus, I love music, so it’s got to show up somewhere. (Anyone who’s read my Gravi fics knows it…)
To tell the truth, the story is unraveling for me too. I had an outline but since I got really engrossed within the fic, it’s turning out far from what I’d planned. I am glad though because I’m enjoying the challenge.
So far though, this was an extremely difficult chapter to write. It really ransacked through my heart.
I just hope you’re enjoying it with me.
Until next read, take care!
Love,
Yui
7/2/2016 2:33 AM – Los Angeles
7/2/2016 6:33 PM - Tokyo
