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yui_miyamotoFandom: Clover / クローバー
Title: paper thorn bird
Pairing: Kazuhiko + Oruha
Rating: G
Description: An overview about the “woven-leaf” that left her light in the world even though she didn’t live for so long.
Disclaimer: Clover doesn’t belong to me, but to Clamp-sama. I just am too in love with it to leave it alone. Any other manga mentioned isn’t mine either (Suki Dakara Suki, Chobits, Gravitation), but some characters here are made-up and therefore are mine. All the songs or poems are mine too.
The leaf that won’t die.
It floats with the wind until it breaks into pieces.
But it will touch everything around it,
Changing the touched forever.
Intricate little leaf,
Intertwine with all
your pain and beauty.
paper thorn bird
By miyamoto yui
* date not disclosed *
To the guardians of Asahi Oruha-san,
According to government policy set in the year of 1999, any child by the age of seven is subject to a procedural, government check-up. As you may already know, this is required by all citizens of this country.
At this time, this is to let you know that that it has come to our attention that your daughter may need to come in for her first blood test, the first block of tests that must be given at this stage.
The blood test is to check for sugar levels and other health issues that may arise in the future. Please sign up for an appointment at one of the hospitals listed in the first attachment of this document.
Another attachment with this letter will fully explain what will be done and how the blood will be tested. If you have any further questions, please contact the live 24-hour chat, e-mail us, or call us with the list provided to you.
Failure to schedule an appointment within the next two weeks will result in a warning that will be documented not only on your record, but also your daughter’s.
+/+/+/+/+
June 2nd, 2---
Dear Oru-chan,
Hi! How are you? Your mommy said you went on a trip to see your grandma and grandpa out in the country. I hope you are having fun!
I miss you.
Ja ne!
Love, Mariko
+/+/+/+/+
Transcription of interview with Asahi Oruha-san
(Age 7)
Researcher: How are you doing today?
Subject: I’m fine.
R: Oruha-chan, do you know why you are here?
S: [Patient shakes her head.]
R: We are just here to test a few things to make sure you are healthy.
S: Okay.
R: Okay, first, we will ask you a few questions.
S: [Patient nods her head.]
R: Your mother says you have been having dreams about a beautiful lady. Can you tell me about that dream?
S: I dream that there is a tall, beautiful lady. She has long curly hair like mine. She is singing a song. It sounds really sad.
R: What kind of songs does she sing?
S: She only sings one song. She sings it over and over.
R: Are there other people in your dream?
S: Yes. There are people, but they’re kind of fuzzy. I can only see the lady because there is a light on her.
R: Oruha-chan? Do you think that woman is you when you grow up?
S: Maybe…kind of?
R: Okay, Oruha-chan, can you go over to that nice-looking lady over there?
+/+/+/+/+
* date not disclosed *
To the guardians of Asahi Oruha-san,
Your daughter has been diagnosed with a paranormal ability titled “prerecognition”. It is the ability to predict events of the future. Since the laws passed in 1999, the government of Japan has issued a decree that anyone with any type of ESP (Extra Sensory Perception) abilities must be tested so as to ensure the safety of its citizens.
Due to the results of the various tests conducted on your daughter, we must detain her in our facility. In order to proceed with the next set of tests, we must have a written statement temporary relinquishing care of your child and formally acknowledge that we will be the caretakers of your daughter.
+/+/+/+/+
To Mrs. Motsuwa,
I know it has been a while since I have written to you last, but please forgive. I am praying that this even reaches you.
It has been two years since Oruha has left. I cannot sleep and I cannot eat.
I keep on thinking about my little girl looking for me. I dream about it every night.
No matter what anyone has said, they took her away from me. No matter how they’ve brainwashed and told her that I sold her, they are lying. Please believe me, but I know that I don’t need to prove myself to someone who loves me.
But please keep this as a record of the truth behind the incident. I ran away with her. I took all the money her father left us and had one bag of clothing. We were running from city to city, disguised in whatever I could think of. However, when I was almost to the airport, our cab was surrounded. I fought back with all my might, but they stole her from me.
I can still hear her screaming for me.
I’m sorry to keep these things short, but I will contact you once again once I get to “safety”.
-Ren
+/+/+/+/+
Journal entry - April 29, 2---
Onee-san has died. And finally, after all this time, Oruha-san has been released from the hospital. Being the next of kin, I am automatically given responsibility over her.
However, I am in no position to take care of this adolescent. She is a handful and has a wild nature. Just like her parents. What’s more is that I feel so uncomfortable with her “ability”. Even though she says it only leads to one particular moment and doesn’t harm anyone else, how can I believe that? I don’t understand what she has, but I don’t want to ask too much.
They say she is able to function “normally”, but what exactly does THAT mean?! And how can I believe that she isn’t “harmful” when the rumor is that she slept with the head doctor in order to be given a clearance to leave?
What the hell am I supposed to do?!
+/+/+/+/+
To whom it may concern,
I am leaving this as a formality. No matter what you may think, I have manners despite my “lack of discipline and education”.
This is the fifteenth foster home I’ve had. So don’t think you’re so special providing me with “everything”. I am a person. NOT a slave.
Because it’s my birthday, I’m free to leave. And so, I have.
A human, no matter what happens or has happened, is still owed respect for its resilience to live.
-Oruha
+/+/+/+/+
*Beaten first edition of an “ancient” novel still written in paper format. A poem is written on the back cover. In red pen, someone has written, “My favorite poem”.*
Monotonous
By Yuki Eiri
A winter’s first snowflake
is like a cherry blossom petal
falling, staining the ground.
We walk a supposed straight path
in cigarette smoke dreams
and poisonous wine as clear
as water that resemble tears.
Round and round
this wretched world spins
in one confining direction.
You do the same thing
in so many different places.
All with no meaning,
All definitions pushed aside.
You want to live forever, you say?
Write, write, write.
You want to love until the end of time?
He says sing, sing, sing.
I’ve already forgotten yesterday
and tomorrow’s a day I
don’t know if I’ll live through.
Everything’s like that
first snowflake that falls as heaven’s frigid tears,
melting away in your hand.
+/+/+/+/+
[Written in lipstick on a backstage mirror]
Thanks for everything, but I’ll be leaving now. I saw you with the dancer that you said was your sister.
There are no take backs. I’m much tougher than that.
A songbird looks beautiful, but that’s to push away the wretched life it has led.
-Nightingale
+/+/+/+/+
Note scribbled at the top of the music sheet:
This is my first song. I don’t really know how to arrange everything yet, but I’m getting the hang of it. This could be better, but it is the best I can do.
Trap-box living
By A. Oruha
Needles pushing in and out,
I sew myself back together again
With the mark of a magic clover
Supposedly mending my broken pieces.
(But there are too many holes…)
They tell me days,
I’ve been locked here for years.
I’ve forgotten what the sun looks like.
It’s all white. It’s all white.
Not like there’s somewhere to go to,
The cities are filled with computers,
Watching your every step.
Is this freedom?
Living in this Babylon of a cage
Is freedom?
Freedom from who?
From where?
To when?
I’ve lost myself already.
I flew from place to place,
Looking for a home to call my own,
But they all wanted a toll or fee.
My body, my tears, my money,
But I stopped when they asked
For my soul.
And time is running out for me,
Who is going nowhere.
I know what’s at the end of this journey
And I can’t escape.
I am trapped.
Pressing the glass
Invisibly around me.
And I ask the sky
Though I don’t know how to pray,
Why me?
+/+/+/+/+
* On the back of an old, wrinkled business card *
What does it take to touch the bird that keeps on running away from me? Going from nightclub to nightclub’s making me poor. ^_~
-K.
Response in violet:
Try harder. You’re already crazy going this far.
-O.
+/+/+/+/+
[Printed e-mail]
Oruha,
I don’t know if I’ll be able to tell you before or after the performance, but I’ve always liked your singing. Even though I don’t say much, I just wanted you to know.
-Gin
+/+/+/+/+
Singer murdered after debut!
New, upcoming vocalist called by the name of Oruha was shot to death yesterday when she made her debut at ____ Club. She had been singing for years and had a number of followers as an underground singer who was finally coming into mainstream music.
Known as the “thorn bird”, she has sung and arranged many of her own music, which ranged through a variety of subjects and styles. However, a fan commented best when she said, “Oruha-san’s essence is more powerful than her words or her voice. It is the aspiration to reach through the cages we have put on ourselves.”
Even though she was also known as the Nightingale, shy was she titled the “thorn bird”? In one interview done two years ago, she answered,
“I was first nicknamed the Nightingale, but then it evolved to “Thorn Bird” after I sang an acapella of a song I created with that title. It is said that a mystical bird can sing more beautifully than any other bird in existence, but it requires a sacrifice. For that voice, it forfeits its life.”
+/+/+/+/+
[Email]
Kazuhiko,
Lan found this for you. You might find it interesting.
-G.
(Attachment)
Thorn Bird
By Oruha
Why do I have to learn to love?
I know better than to live.
I made a promise to myself
That I’ll live inside of my head.
If I keep on leaving, then
The day will never come
When I cease to breathe.
Tell me, why were we even born?
When I can’t go outside to enjoy the world.
Kiss me, why will we die?
The computer lines are strangling me.
It’s a mysteriously sad thing
When I open my mouth
Nothing comes out
After being alone so long,
I can finally come out.
And we struggle to understand with words
What is music when we try to define?
Constrain it, make love to it,
Thinking you’ll make a connection
To something that’s only a form
With no name?
The never-ending world
Is something I still believe in
I love its cruelty
With all of my broken heart.
In some corner of the world
I am trying to reach out
Singing until I die
Through the bushes filled with thorns.
They are enclosing closer
Until I’m bleeding relentlessly
But I don’t care,
I will break free someday.
And you will turn your eyes away in shock or awe.
Why do I have to learn to live?
I know better than to love.
+/+/+/+/+
[Email to Kazuhiko]
Hello,
I’ve found something. It was hard to get into, but I hope it will be of help you.
-Lan
(Attachment of a locked document)
Last modified: ?
Size: 13 KB
Attributes: (Hidden)
I don’t usually like to remember things, but I want to remember this. Even if it is a weird thing to want to remember, what can I say about myself? I’m just myself.
I don’t believe in coincidences, but maybe there’s no room in my mind for such a thing. He asked the same question she asked only a few hours later on the phone. They both asked me, “Is Oruha your real name?”
I told both of them, “Yes, it is.” That, of course, led to why didn’t I take a stage name. I guess I never truly thought of it until they made me say it to myself, in my own words, as if it were a hidden truth that I had never known. Maybe it truly was.
I never had reason to say that it wasn’t…then again, I give people a certain look so that they can’t read my mind no matter what they do.
I said that it was something like this. I told them that I didn’t want to forget whatever happened to me throughout my life. Some people would love to forget their past and repaint it, but what was the use in that? You should be proud of wherever you go and whatever you are.
Even if your life wasn’t the best or if you were given the very best, what difference would that make? The only thing I knew about myself was my name.
Anything beyond that was harder to answer. Any question beyond this simple fact was so impossible for my heart to answer, but my smile always tried to save me. And it always has.
Even though I love them both, I just couldn’t tell them:
It made me sad to know that I knew when I was going to die, but it also made me happy. It makes me appreciate everything until that moment comes, whether it is good or bad. And it is under this name that everything is written onto.
My memories.
So that’s why I didn’t change it.
Oruha is what I’m born with. It is also what I’ll die with.
So that everyone who has heard or will hear about me will know who I am. As brief as my life will be, I want to shine until the light dims. I will fight to live until the very last moment that I’m extinguished.
Owari. / The End.
--
Author’s note: As far as I’ve known, she was not given a last name, but I gave her that one. I don’t know why, but I’ve always wanted to connect Suki Dakara Suki with this title.
I thought really hard about this for a few days. Since I had not written for other Clamp titles in a while, I thought I should write for a title that I’ve always believed in. However, I wanted a completely different format from the one I’ve done for this particular title. Even though I love “Kibou”, I wanted to go beyond that.
I wanted to delve into Oruha’s life because I’ve always loved her character. (Always wanted to cosplay her too.) But, I wanted to do it through other materials of communication since her name meant something to do with connection and leaf. She still held strong despite where she floated towards.
I hope you enjoyed it!
Love,
Yui
Monday, June 07, 2004
Title: paper thorn bird
Pairing: Kazuhiko + Oruha
Rating: G
Description: An overview about the “woven-leaf” that left her light in the world even though she didn’t live for so long.
Disclaimer: Clover doesn’t belong to me, but to Clamp-sama. I just am too in love with it to leave it alone. Any other manga mentioned isn’t mine either (Suki Dakara Suki, Chobits, Gravitation), but some characters here are made-up and therefore are mine. All the songs or poems are mine too.
The leaf that won’t die.
It floats with the wind until it breaks into pieces.
But it will touch everything around it,
Changing the touched forever.
Intricate little leaf,
Intertwine with all
your pain and beauty.
paper thorn bird
By miyamoto yui
* date not disclosed *
To the guardians of Asahi Oruha-san,
According to government policy set in the year of 1999, any child by the age of seven is subject to a procedural, government check-up. As you may already know, this is required by all citizens of this country.
At this time, this is to let you know that that it has come to our attention that your daughter may need to come in for her first blood test, the first block of tests that must be given at this stage.
The blood test is to check for sugar levels and other health issues that may arise in the future. Please sign up for an appointment at one of the hospitals listed in the first attachment of this document.
Another attachment with this letter will fully explain what will be done and how the blood will be tested. If you have any further questions, please contact the live 24-hour chat, e-mail us, or call us with the list provided to you.
Failure to schedule an appointment within the next two weeks will result in a warning that will be documented not only on your record, but also your daughter’s.
+/+/+/+/+
June 2nd, 2---
Dear Oru-chan,
Hi! How are you? Your mommy said you went on a trip to see your grandma and grandpa out in the country. I hope you are having fun!
I miss you.
Ja ne!
Love, Mariko
+/+/+/+/+
Transcription of interview with Asahi Oruha-san
(Age 7)
Researcher: How are you doing today?
Subject: I’m fine.
R: Oruha-chan, do you know why you are here?
S: [Patient shakes her head.]
R: We are just here to test a few things to make sure you are healthy.
S: Okay.
R: Okay, first, we will ask you a few questions.
S: [Patient nods her head.]
R: Your mother says you have been having dreams about a beautiful lady. Can you tell me about that dream?
S: I dream that there is a tall, beautiful lady. She has long curly hair like mine. She is singing a song. It sounds really sad.
R: What kind of songs does she sing?
S: She only sings one song. She sings it over and over.
R: Are there other people in your dream?
S: Yes. There are people, but they’re kind of fuzzy. I can only see the lady because there is a light on her.
R: Oruha-chan? Do you think that woman is you when you grow up?
S: Maybe…kind of?
R: Okay, Oruha-chan, can you go over to that nice-looking lady over there?
+/+/+/+/+
* date not disclosed *
To the guardians of Asahi Oruha-san,
Your daughter has been diagnosed with a paranormal ability titled “prerecognition”. It is the ability to predict events of the future. Since the laws passed in 1999, the government of Japan has issued a decree that anyone with any type of ESP (Extra Sensory Perception) abilities must be tested so as to ensure the safety of its citizens.
Due to the results of the various tests conducted on your daughter, we must detain her in our facility. In order to proceed with the next set of tests, we must have a written statement temporary relinquishing care of your child and formally acknowledge that we will be the caretakers of your daughter.
+/+/+/+/+
To Mrs. Motsuwa,
I know it has been a while since I have written to you last, but please forgive. I am praying that this even reaches you.
It has been two years since Oruha has left. I cannot sleep and I cannot eat.
I keep on thinking about my little girl looking for me. I dream about it every night.
No matter what anyone has said, they took her away from me. No matter how they’ve brainwashed and told her that I sold her, they are lying. Please believe me, but I know that I don’t need to prove myself to someone who loves me.
But please keep this as a record of the truth behind the incident. I ran away with her. I took all the money her father left us and had one bag of clothing. We were running from city to city, disguised in whatever I could think of. However, when I was almost to the airport, our cab was surrounded. I fought back with all my might, but they stole her from me.
I can still hear her screaming for me.
I’m sorry to keep these things short, but I will contact you once again once I get to “safety”.
-Ren
+/+/+/+/+
Journal entry - April 29, 2---
Onee-san has died. And finally, after all this time, Oruha-san has been released from the hospital. Being the next of kin, I am automatically given responsibility over her.
However, I am in no position to take care of this adolescent. She is a handful and has a wild nature. Just like her parents. What’s more is that I feel so uncomfortable with her “ability”. Even though she says it only leads to one particular moment and doesn’t harm anyone else, how can I believe that? I don’t understand what she has, but I don’t want to ask too much.
They say she is able to function “normally”, but what exactly does THAT mean?! And how can I believe that she isn’t “harmful” when the rumor is that she slept with the head doctor in order to be given a clearance to leave?
What the hell am I supposed to do?!
+/+/+/+/+
To whom it may concern,
I am leaving this as a formality. No matter what you may think, I have manners despite my “lack of discipline and education”.
This is the fifteenth foster home I’ve had. So don’t think you’re so special providing me with “everything”. I am a person. NOT a slave.
Because it’s my birthday, I’m free to leave. And so, I have.
A human, no matter what happens or has happened, is still owed respect for its resilience to live.
-Oruha
+/+/+/+/+
*Beaten first edition of an “ancient” novel still written in paper format. A poem is written on the back cover. In red pen, someone has written, “My favorite poem”.*
Monotonous
By Yuki Eiri
A winter’s first snowflake
is like a cherry blossom petal
falling, staining the ground.
We walk a supposed straight path
in cigarette smoke dreams
and poisonous wine as clear
as water that resemble tears.
Round and round
this wretched world spins
in one confining direction.
You do the same thing
in so many different places.
All with no meaning,
All definitions pushed aside.
You want to live forever, you say?
Write, write, write.
You want to love until the end of time?
He says sing, sing, sing.
I’ve already forgotten yesterday
and tomorrow’s a day I
don’t know if I’ll live through.
Everything’s like that
first snowflake that falls as heaven’s frigid tears,
melting away in your hand.
+/+/+/+/+
[Written in lipstick on a backstage mirror]
Thanks for everything, but I’ll be leaving now. I saw you with the dancer that you said was your sister.
There are no take backs. I’m much tougher than that.
A songbird looks beautiful, but that’s to push away the wretched life it has led.
-Nightingale
+/+/+/+/+
Note scribbled at the top of the music sheet:
This is my first song. I don’t really know how to arrange everything yet, but I’m getting the hang of it. This could be better, but it is the best I can do.
Trap-box living
By A. Oruha
Needles pushing in and out,
I sew myself back together again
With the mark of a magic clover
Supposedly mending my broken pieces.
(But there are too many holes…)
They tell me days,
I’ve been locked here for years.
I’ve forgotten what the sun looks like.
It’s all white. It’s all white.
Not like there’s somewhere to go to,
The cities are filled with computers,
Watching your every step.
Is this freedom?
Living in this Babylon of a cage
Is freedom?
Freedom from who?
From where?
To when?
I’ve lost myself already.
I flew from place to place,
Looking for a home to call my own,
But they all wanted a toll or fee.
My body, my tears, my money,
But I stopped when they asked
For my soul.
And time is running out for me,
Who is going nowhere.
I know what’s at the end of this journey
And I can’t escape.
I am trapped.
Pressing the glass
Invisibly around me.
And I ask the sky
Though I don’t know how to pray,
Why me?
+/+/+/+/+
* On the back of an old, wrinkled business card *
What does it take to touch the bird that keeps on running away from me? Going from nightclub to nightclub’s making me poor. ^_~
-K.
Response in violet:
Try harder. You’re already crazy going this far.
-O.
+/+/+/+/+
[Printed e-mail]
Oruha,
I don’t know if I’ll be able to tell you before or after the performance, but I’ve always liked your singing. Even though I don’t say much, I just wanted you to know.
-Gin
+/+/+/+/+
Singer murdered after debut!
New, upcoming vocalist called by the name of Oruha was shot to death yesterday when she made her debut at ____ Club. She had been singing for years and had a number of followers as an underground singer who was finally coming into mainstream music.
Known as the “thorn bird”, she has sung and arranged many of her own music, which ranged through a variety of subjects and styles. However, a fan commented best when she said, “Oruha-san’s essence is more powerful than her words or her voice. It is the aspiration to reach through the cages we have put on ourselves.”
Even though she was also known as the Nightingale, shy was she titled the “thorn bird”? In one interview done two years ago, she answered,
“I was first nicknamed the Nightingale, but then it evolved to “Thorn Bird” after I sang an acapella of a song I created with that title. It is said that a mystical bird can sing more beautifully than any other bird in existence, but it requires a sacrifice. For that voice, it forfeits its life.”
+/+/+/+/+
[Email]
Kazuhiko,
Lan found this for you. You might find it interesting.
-G.
(Attachment)
Thorn Bird
By Oruha
Why do I have to learn to love?
I know better than to live.
I made a promise to myself
That I’ll live inside of my head.
If I keep on leaving, then
The day will never come
When I cease to breathe.
Tell me, why were we even born?
When I can’t go outside to enjoy the world.
Kiss me, why will we die?
The computer lines are strangling me.
It’s a mysteriously sad thing
When I open my mouth
Nothing comes out
After being alone so long,
I can finally come out.
And we struggle to understand with words
What is music when we try to define?
Constrain it, make love to it,
Thinking you’ll make a connection
To something that’s only a form
With no name?
The never-ending world
Is something I still believe in
I love its cruelty
With all of my broken heart.
In some corner of the world
I am trying to reach out
Singing until I die
Through the bushes filled with thorns.
They are enclosing closer
Until I’m bleeding relentlessly
But I don’t care,
I will break free someday.
And you will turn your eyes away in shock or awe.
Why do I have to learn to live?
I know better than to love.
+/+/+/+/+
[Email to Kazuhiko]
Hello,
I’ve found something. It was hard to get into, but I hope it will be of help you.
-Lan
(Attachment of a locked document)
Last modified: ?
Size: 13 KB
Attributes: (Hidden)
I don’t usually like to remember things, but I want to remember this. Even if it is a weird thing to want to remember, what can I say about myself? I’m just myself.
I don’t believe in coincidences, but maybe there’s no room in my mind for such a thing. He asked the same question she asked only a few hours later on the phone. They both asked me, “Is Oruha your real name?”
I told both of them, “Yes, it is.” That, of course, led to why didn’t I take a stage name. I guess I never truly thought of it until they made me say it to myself, in my own words, as if it were a hidden truth that I had never known. Maybe it truly was.
I never had reason to say that it wasn’t…then again, I give people a certain look so that they can’t read my mind no matter what they do.
I said that it was something like this. I told them that I didn’t want to forget whatever happened to me throughout my life. Some people would love to forget their past and repaint it, but what was the use in that? You should be proud of wherever you go and whatever you are.
Even if your life wasn’t the best or if you were given the very best, what difference would that make? The only thing I knew about myself was my name.
Anything beyond that was harder to answer. Any question beyond this simple fact was so impossible for my heart to answer, but my smile always tried to save me. And it always has.
Even though I love them both, I just couldn’t tell them:
It made me sad to know that I knew when I was going to die, but it also made me happy. It makes me appreciate everything until that moment comes, whether it is good or bad. And it is under this name that everything is written onto.
My memories.
So that’s why I didn’t change it.
Oruha is what I’m born with. It is also what I’ll die with.
So that everyone who has heard or will hear about me will know who I am. As brief as my life will be, I want to shine until the light dims. I will fight to live until the very last moment that I’m extinguished.
Owari. / The End.
--
Author’s note: As far as I’ve known, she was not given a last name, but I gave her that one. I don’t know why, but I’ve always wanted to connect Suki Dakara Suki with this title.
I thought really hard about this for a few days. Since I had not written for other Clamp titles in a while, I thought I should write for a title that I’ve always believed in. However, I wanted a completely different format from the one I’ve done for this particular title. Even though I love “Kibou”, I wanted to go beyond that.
I wanted to delve into Oruha’s life because I’ve always loved her character. (Always wanted to cosplay her too.) But, I wanted to do it through other materials of communication since her name meant something to do with connection and leaf. She still held strong despite where she floated towards.
I hope you enjoyed it!
Love,
Yui
Monday, June 07, 2004
